The Big Fang Theory
by wolftallica
Summary: Integra suspects that there might be some vampiric activity going on around a physics convention- one that Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj happen to be attending. Will Seras be able to protect everyone without Alucard by her side? Note: Set during the 30 yr absence period.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

With Alucard being gone for the past 15 years, Seras Victoria hadn't much to do these days. Other than the occasional vampire hunt, which was hardly any fun due to her being so much stronger and faster than her opponent. Plus with her familiar, Pip Bernadotte, anyone who would dare go up against her was incredibly foolish and undoubtedly suffered the consequences. She hated to admit it, but she missed the vampiric bastard. All her and Alucard had done together and what they'd been through. But she knew. She knew that one day he would return to her and Sir Integra.

Just then, she heard her master (Integra) calling for her from the confinement of the office. She hurried over to see what the royal knight needed. She sat down at the seat in front of her master's desk while she watched Integra light up one of her patented cigars that she always seemed to have handy. "Thank you for coming at such short notice, Miss Victoria" Integra said with a warm smile.

"Sir, you know that, whenever you need me, just call and I'll be right there." Seras returned the smile and folded her hands in her lap.

"Well, now that you are present, I have something rather urgent I need to discuss with you. Seras, for the past few days, there has been quite a bit of vampiric activity going on around this one particular conference center. There will be a huge physics convention and conference being held there about two days from now; I feel that the vampires are planning something." Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing said to the vampire.

"So what are your orders, Sir?" Seras replied. She was actually kind of excited, she hadn't had a mission for at least a few months.

"Well, I would like you to attend the convention as if you were a scientist, student, or whatever alias you can think of, and see if anything out of the ordinary happens. And if it does-" Integra paused with a mischievous smile on her face, "-you should know what to do. And of course, if you so happen to come across these blood-sucking monsters, I want them slaughtered. Understand, Miss Victoria?"

Seras say up straight in her chair and looked Integra right in the eyes, respectfully, and said, "yes, I understand Sir."

Integra puffed on her cigar and stated, "Good." Then she exhaled the smoke and Seras smiled. "

"You should get preparing. And if I were you, I would touch up on my physics, to make it convincing of course." Integra grinned.

"Yes, sir!" And with that, Seras was off. This was very intriguing to the vampire.

...

"Leonard, are you sure we have everything packed? Our plane leaves tomorrow at 9:00am sharp! We absolutely cannot be late!" The tall man named Sheldon said to his annoyed roommate. This physics convention in England was supposed to be the biggest yet, with world-renowned scientists supposedly attending.

Breathing out a sigh of clear annoyance, Leonard replied, "Yes, Sheldon, I have everything packed; our clothes, pajamas, toiletries, comic books, snacks, what else could there possibly be?!"

Sheldon replied, "Well, alright, but did you remember to remind Raj and Wolowitz about the departure time?"

Looking defeated, Leonard sighed and walked over to the phone to call the rest of the gang.

"So, I take it you let Sheldon's OCD get to you again?" Howard said to his short friend over the phone. "You know, I'm hardly ever late and I had it marked on my calendar," Wolowitz paused and laughed, "you didn't need to call and remind me."

Leonard sighed, audible to the other phone. "I know, but he would've had a hissy fit if I hadn't called you. You know how he is."

Howard chuckled in amusement at his friend's predicament, but it was short-lived as he heard his mother's obnoxious yet comical voice, so loud that Leonard could hear it over the phone. "HOWARD, DINNER'S READY! I MADE MEATLOAF! HURRY, OR IT'S GONNA GET COLD!" Now it was Leonard's turn to chuckle. Audibly annoyed, Howard said, not without a sigh, "I've got to go. See you guys tomorrow."

Leonard then called to remind Raj, their conversation ending with a simple "Ok, see you tomorrow" from Raj and then he hung up the phone, remembering and smiling at the comical situation Howard had to deal with. Just then, he heard a knock at the door. Sheldon unexpectedly ran out of his room to go get the door, shouting "I'll get it!"

He opened the door and there stood the blonde waitress, otherwise known as Penny, Leonard's girlfriend. She enthusiastically ran over and hugged Leonard, catching him off guard. She looked him in the eyes. "Be safe on your trip. I'll miss you." Leonard kissed her passionately on her soft lips, the romantic gesture making Sheldon want to vomit. Instead, he simply rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I will, and I'll miss you, too. You'll be all I think about. It'll only be for a few days. I'll call you when I get there." Leonard smiled and playfully cupped her cheeks in his hands. Hugging him again, she said, "I love you." Letting go, he replied, "I love you, too." She then left and headed back to her apartment.

"Good Lord, Leonard, if she's all you will think about while we're gone, then how will you ever be able to accomplish anything on this trip?"

Comically sighing at Sheldon's ignorance, Leonard replied, "I didn't really mean that literally. It's something you say as a romantic gesture. Think of it as, say, pseudosarcasm."

"I think I understand. But anyways, I heard that Stephen Hawking is supposed to be there! Can you believe it, Leonard!?" Sheldon excitedly exclaimed.

"Really? Gosh, I hope we get to meet him!" But then they realized that it was almost 8:00 at night, so they decided to call it a day and get their rest for the big weekend they had ahead of them.

...

"Pip, do you know anything about Stephen Hawking? Apparently, he's a physicist known for his work on black holes and a few books he's published," Seras said to her familiar, "he's supposed to be there tomorrow."

In his distinguishable ever-present French accent, he replied, "Nope, not a clue, Mon Chere."

Seras had been really putting a lot of work into studying physics, probably even more than Sir Integra expected her to. She had spent the last 4 hours studying with Pip, preparing for the role she had decided to play as a physics graduate student.

"You know, Seras, you could always just drain a nerd and have him become your familiar," Pip said, taking a puff from his cigarette, "you vampires basically absorb the person, their memories, their feelings, etc." Seras had to laugh at the idea. "First Pip, can you stop smoking inside me?" Seras sheepishly said with a smile. "Second, could you deal with a nerd ramble on about Star Trek and science for at least a couple of centuries or more?" Seras was nearly on the floor laughing at the idea of a nerd irking Pip like that.

"Ok, you got me, your way it is then. But I'm still gonna smoke." he said with a cheeky grin.

"Ahh you're so mean!" Seras said jokingly with a warm smile.

...

AN: My third fanfic, please review! Also, what other characters should I include to go? The only reason I didn't include Penny was because I know I'd screw up her character. And I can't do accents, so sorry, Pip.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN: I should probably note that I decided to make this before Howard got with Bernadette and when Raj couldn't talk to girls without being drunk. I feel that I'll write the story much better this way. Well, without further ado, here's chapter two!

(Just realized I rhymed...)

...

The quad arrived early to the airport, no thanks to Sheldon's persistent nagging about "not being late."

"Oh, come on, Sheldon! We're 2 hours early! Happy?" Leonard exclaimed sarcastically, hanging his arms in despair.

"Hardly. This magazine stand doesn't even have the latest copy of 'Trains' magazine!" Sheldon exclaimed, annoyed; standing in front of the chock-full magazine stand filled with all sorts of colorful reading material just waiting to be picked up.

Howard then stepped around Sheldon, reached out and picked up a copy of 'Playboy' magazine. With a cheeky grin, the mock Beatle said, "but they do have Playboy." Before Wolowitz could crack it open, Leonard promptly reached and grabbed it from him, and sarcastically sighed before putting it back on the shelf. Sheldon just facepalmed in disappointment.

"Well, I'm going to get coffee, are you guys coming?" Raj asked in his familiar Indian accent.

"Yeah, sure." Leonard said, walking away from the magazine stand-

"But I don't drink coffee," Sheldon stated, making Leonard exaggerate a sigh. "Fine, would you like some beer instead?" Raj sarcastically replied. "Of course not! You know I don't consume alcohol!" Sheldon replied, not understanding the sarcastic implications.

With an annoyed chuckle of disbelief, Leonard crossed his arms, trying to keep his patience, and said, "Sheldon, he was being sarcastic. But they do have tea. Are you ok with that before we go to order?"

"No, I don't drink tea, either." Sheldon replied.

Before Leonard totally lost it, Sheldon chuckled and said, "Bazinga."

...

SERAS VICTORIA'S PHYSICS NOTEBOOK

-Weight (force of gravity) decreases as you move away from the earth by distance squared.

-Mass and inertia are the same thing.

-Constant velocity and zero velocity means the net force is zero and acceleration is zero.

-Weight (in newtons) is mass x acceleration (w = mg). Mass is not weight!

-Velocity, displacement [s], momentum, force and acceleration are vectors.

-Speed, distance [d], time, and energy (joules) are scalar quantities.

-The slope of the velocity-time graph is acceleration.

-At zero (0) degrees two vectors have a resultant equal to their sum.

-At 180 degrees two vectors have a resultant equal to their difference.

From the difference to the sum is the total range of possible resultants.

-Centripetal force and centripetal acceleration vectors are toward the center of the circle- while the velocity vector is tangent to the circle.

-An unbalanced force (object not in equilibrium) must produce acceleration.

-The slope of the distance-tine graph is velocity.

-The equilibrant force is equal in magnitude but opposite in direction to the resultant vector.

-Momentum is conserved in all collision systems.

-Magnitude is a term use to state how large a vector quantity is.

-Mechanical energy is the sum of the potential and kinetic energy.

-Units: a = [m/sec2], F = [kg•m/sec2] (newton), work = pe= ke = [kg•m2/sec2] (joule)

-An ev is an energy unit equal to 1.6 x 10-19 joules

-Gravitational potential energy increases as height increases.

-Kinetic energy changes only if velocity changes.

-Mechanical energy (pe + ke) does not change for a free falling mass or a swinging pendulum. (when ignoring air friction)

-The units for power are [joules/sec] or the rate of change of energy.

-A coulomb is charge, an amp is current [coulomb/sec] and a volt is potential difference [joule/coulomb].

-Short fat cold wires make the best conductors.

-Electrons and protons have equal amounts of charge (1.6 x 10-19 coulombs each).

-Adding a resistor in parallel decreases the total resistance of a circuit.

-Adding a resistor in series increases the total resistance of a circuit.

-All resistors in series have equal current (I).

-All resistors in parallel have equal voltage (V).

-If two charged spheres touch each other add the charges and divide by two to find the final charge on each sphere.

-Insulators contain no free electrons.

-Ionized gases conduct electric current using positive ions, negative ions and electrons.

-Electric fields all point in the direction of the force on a positive test charge.

-Electric fields between two parallel plates are uniform in strength except at the edges.

-Millikan determined the charge on a single electron using his famous oil-drop experiment.

-All charge changes result from the movement of electrons not protons (an object becomes positive by losing electrons)

-The direction of a magnetic field is defined by the direction a compass needle points.

-Magnetic fields point from the north to the south outside the magnet and south to north inside the magnet.

-Magnetic flux is measured in webers.

-Left hands are for negative charges and right hands are for positive charges.

-The first hand rule deals with the B-field around a current bearing wire, the third hand rule looks at the force on charges moving in a B-field, and the second hand rule is redundant.

-Solenoids are stronger with more current or more wire turns or adding a soft iron core.

Phenomena

-Sound waves are longitudinal and mechanical.

-Light slows down, bends toward the normal and has a shorter wavelength when it enters a higher (n) value medium.

-All angles in wave theory problems are measured to the normal.

-Blue light has more energy. A shorter wavelength and a higher frequency than red light (remember- ROYGBIV).

-The electromagnetic spectrum (radio, infrared, visible. Ultraviolet x-ray and gamma) are listed lowest energy to highest.

-A prism produces a rainbow from white light by dispersion (red bends the least because it slows the least).

-Light wave are transverse (they can be polarized).

-The speed of all types of electromagnetic waves is 3.0 x 108 m/sec in a vacuum.

-The amplitude of a sound wave determines its energy.

-Constructive interference occurs when two waves are zero (0) degrees out of phase or a whole number of wavelengths (360 degrees.) out of phase.

-At the critical angle a wave will be refracted to 90 degrees.

-According to the Doppler effect a wave source moving toward you will generate waves with a shorter wavelength and higher frequency.

-Double slit diffraction works because of diffraction and interference.

-Single slit diffraction produces a much wider central maximum than double slit.

-Diffuse reflection occurs from dull surfaces while regular reflection occurs from mirror type surfaces.

-As the frequency of a wave increases its energy increases and its wavelength decreases.

-Transverse wave particles vibrate back and forth perpendicular to the wave direction.

-Wave behavior is proven by diffraction, interference and the polarization of light.

-Shorter waves with higher frequencies have shorter periods.

-Radiowaves are electromagnetic and travel at the speed of light (c).

-Monochromatic light has one frequency.

-Coherent light waves are all in phase.

Optics

-Real images are always inverted.

Virtual images are always upright.

-Diverging lens (concave) produce only small virtual images.

-Light rays bend away from the normal as they gain speed and a longer wavelength by entering a slower (n) medium {frequency remains constant}.

-The focal length of a converging lens (convex) is shorter with a higher (n) value lens or if blue light replaces red.

Physics

-The particle behavior of light is proven by the photoelectric effect.

-A photon is a particle of light {wave packet}.

-Large objects have very short wavelengths when moving and thus can not be observed behaving as a wave. (DeBroglie Waves)

-All electromagnetic waves originate from accelerating charged particles.

-The frequency of a light wave determines its energy (E = hf).

-The lowest energy state of a atom is called the ground state.

-Increasing light frequency increases the kinetic energy of the emitted photo-electrons.

-As the threshold frequency increase for a photo-cell (photo emissive material) the work function also increases.

-Increasing light intensity increases the number of emitted photo-electrons but not their KE.

Energy

-Internal energy is the sum of temperature (ke) and phase (pe) conditions.

-Steam and liquid water molecules at 100 degrees have equal kinetic energies.

-Degrees Kelvin (absolute temp.) Is equal to zero (0) degrees Celsius.

-Temperature measures the average kinetic energy of the molecules.

-Phase changes are due to potential energy changes.

-Internal energy always flows from an object at higher temperature to one of lower temperature.

Physics

-Alpha particles are the same as helium nuclei and have the symbol .

-The atomic number is equal to the number of protons (2 for alpha)

-Deuterium () is an isotope of hydrogen ()

-The number of nucleons is equal to protons + neutrons (4 for alpha)

-Only charged particles can be accelerated in a particle accelerator such as a cyclotron or Van Der Graaf generator.

-Natural radiation is alpha (), beta () and gamma (high energy x-rays)

-A loss of a beta particle results in an increase in atomic number.

-All nuclei weigh less than their parts.

-This mass defect is converted into binding energy. (E=mc2)

-Isotopes have different neutron numbers and atomic masses but the same number of protons (atomic numbers).

-Geiger counters, photographic plates, cloud and bubble chambers are all used to detect or observe radiation.

-Rutherford discovered the positive nucleus using his famous gold-foil experiment.

-Fusion requires that hydrogen be combined to make helium.

-Fission requires that a neutron causes uranium to be split into middle size atoms and produce extra neutrons.

-Radioactive half-lives can not be changed by heat or pressure.

-One AMU of mass is equal to 931 meV of energy (E = mc2).

-Nuclear forces are strong and short ranged.

...

Seras plopped onto the bed, exhausted from all of the studying she'd done. "Geez Seras, you probably know enough now to rival a professor." Pip told her, although she wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. "I'm just glad I'm done. I've never studied so much in my life, even in high school. But I should be good for the next 3 days of the convention." Seras said with a smile, visibly relieved. "And I'm also glad that Hawking guy decided to cancel. If Sir Integra is right about these vampires, I don't want anyone getting hurt." Seras finally finished.

"Me neither. But you do realize it's almost midnight, right Mon Chere?" asked a surprised Pip, "you've been studying for the past day and a half!"

Seras didn't think it had been that long. "Wow, I hadn't realized. Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep now. I don't intend on being tired for tomorrow." And with that, she went to her coffin to get some well-needed rest for the big weekend ahead of her.

...

10 hours was a long time to be on a plane. Howard and Raj both fell asleep within the first hour of the plane ride; they both had seats next to each other, and Leonard and Sheldon likewise shared a row of seats. In fact, Leonard had almost fallen asleep just as Wolowitz and Raj had. But Sheldon had other plans, much to Leonard's annoyance...

After about 45 minutes of Leonard being asleep, Sheldon reached over to his shoulder and, 'tap-tap-tap' "Leonard." Sheldon innocently whispered. Nothing. 'Tap-tap-tap', "Leonard." Again, Leonard's only response was to turn over. Once more, this time firmer and louder, 'poke-poke-poke' "Leonard!" This time, Sheldon got a response from his roommate. But not a very happy one.

"Sheldon! What the hell do you think you're doing? I just fell asleep!" Leonard groggily said. Sheldon innocently replied, "I was going to marathon Star Trek, and I wanted to know if you'd be interested in watching it with me."

Sighing, an annoyed Leonard said, "If I watch a few episodes with you, will you promise to let me sleep for the rest of the plane ride?"

With a smile, Sheldon replied, "yes, I suppose so." Excitedly, he turned on Netflix on his laptop and handed the other earbud to Leonard. This was going to be a long plane ride indeed.

...

After they landed in the airport in London, they went to go pick up their rental car. Their hotel was in the outskirts of London, just like the huge conference center holding the physics convention. They got lost a few times, but eventually made it there. Just like in the plane, Sheldon and Leonard shared a room, and Raj and Howard.

They got to their hotel rooms and went right to sleep, not wanting to be tired for the big weekend that awaited them.

...

AN: Thank you to the one review I've received so far, it made my day. And also, I didn't say this before, but I don't own Hellsing or the Big Bang Theory. Please leave a review, and thanks for reading!


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